The Holidays Are Only Regular Days
For many people, the holidays can be overwhelming. When I used to live in Amsterdam around the age of 20, I was not home for Christmas. In fact, for most of my 9 years there, I missed Christmas with my mom who was divorced by my father after I was 18 years old.
I had a great piano player friend named Curtis Clark. You see I was a jazz singer in Europe for 9 years and he was someone who had written a beautiful song that he needed lyrics for. And it was near Christmas, so I wrote a song about the street where I grew up and where my mom lived for my first 18 years.
The song was about how the snow looked when it came down in the dark night. I loved coming home for Christmas and the streetlamp brought snow to life as it would gently float down to the ground. The song went on to say how I wish I was coming home for Christmas.
It brings tears to my eyes as I write this as my mother passed over 20 years ago. To think that I missed most of those 9 years of Christmases and time with my mother makes me realize how precious time is. And the holidays are very hard for me. Now that my father passed away a few years ago- it is extra hard for me.
Many of my clients have families that they have not had contact with for many years because they are not forgiving them for pain of different sorts. My choice to not come home was financial because I was getting paid to sing extra high pay during holidays.
Now I have 2 daughters and 4 grandsons. I can’t imagine missing a Christmas with them. I have one grandson who has a birthday on December 1st and I always try to stay through until Christmas- but end up missing my husband in Wisconsin and fly back and forth a couple of times to California for the birthday and Christmas.
Whatever the reason people feel out of sorts at the holidays- maybe from loss due to death or loss from not forgiving people or loss from feeling like one is not being accepted there can be pain. For many reasons, holidays can be joyous despite past or current pains as well.
One tool that I teach to clients who have PTSD or serious depression -who are new to working with me is the regular day tool. Think of Christmas or whatever you celebrate as a regular day. New Year’s Eve and day as a regular day. It is just December 24th, 25th, or 31st, or January 1st.
Taking the power away from December 24th or 25th or 30th is helpful for some.
Or if you work with me, you know we have tools for sadness. We have tools for grief, anxiety, fear, loneliness, worry, frustration, and anger. Medical Qigong works that I do believe that we are born with virtues and these uncomfortable emotions I mentioned are acquired emotions. It is important to honor uncomfortable emotions as they are a sacred part of us.
Many abundance teachers -teach that it is most important to feel good no matter what manifests. I agree, but not without honoring those uncomfortable emotions that can also be toxic to our physical and mental health. So, we teach clients how to honor them and move them out of the physical tissues and into the earth to transmute and recycle them. The earth then uses it as fertilizer for our growth spiritually and emotionally which positively affects our health, wealth, and wellness.
The virtues we are born with help us balance and even illuminate the acquired emotions- which all relate to the specific organs in our bodies- we say in traditional Chinese medicine.
Joy, tranquility, and order -we were born within the heart/small intestines.
- Acquired emotions- anxiety, nervousness, expectations not met, depression, despair
Trust, openness, and sincerity – in the spleen/stomach
- Acquired emotions- worry, overthinking.
Courage, integrity, and dignity- we were born within the lungs/large intestines.
- Acquired emotions- sadness, grief, shame, doubt.
Self-confidence, inner strength, wisdom – in the kidneys/urinary bladder
- Acquired emotions- fear, loneliness.
Compassion, kindness, and patience – in the liver/gallbladder
- Acquired emotions- anger, frustration, impatience.
More virtues and emotions are related but I like to focus on these. Some people will say there are different- and it’s all true– as with Medical Qigong and other systems – it is all to seek balance.
Through the holidays and the first 3 weeks of December- we have a support group to share what is stressful in each participant’s life – right now. At the end of each meeting- I will share a tool that everyone can do—but directed to one or two participants' specific stressors.
This will be on Thursdays and Sundays starting December 3rd and ending on the Solstice – December 21st. They will be from 3 pm to 4:30 Pacific time and 6 pm to 7:30 pm Eastern- open to anyone interestePlease get in touch with me me, Dr Amba Dryg-Tobin at www.sitwellnes.com/contact for more info.
Community support is one of the main things that is needed during the holidays for some people. Tools and the gift of being truly heard and of being a listener with compassion WHILE KEEPING EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES- are important too. So, at the start of each meeting, I will teach and re-teach 3 quick tools to not take on other peoples’ stress. Energy protection also does not drain your energy and close the conception vessel/meridian aka channel in Chinese Medicine. This is where the most empathetic people can have empathy to the empathic level of harming themselves.
So we will be practicing Ahimsa- the practice of non-harm to ourselves or others. After each meeting after those 3 tools are done- we will do gratitude lists---and at the end of each meeting, we will do accomplishment lists. In the middle after sharing in breakout rooms our stressors- we will learn a bit about the foundations of these Medical Qigong prescription-short- moving and still meditations.
Throughout this 3-week group- attendees can come to all 6 or as many as they are able. At the end of the meetings last week- I will share with the group a remote medical qigong general session protocol. This is when all will lie down at home and face the ceiling—and listen to the SHAMANIC DREAM track from the musical artist called Anagama. https://youtu.be/Jvj_Wv4SZ4I?si=GjOxLceh9dFEkKI9 is the link I ask the group to play on their computer louder- and it lasts 28 minutes- the cycle of Qi in the meridian system time. At the end, the attendees will draw or journal at home
To attend 1 or all 6 meetings -which are 90 minutes and please go to this link to register: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZ0ucu2urjgtG9yFCpD2TKGkvBYqH0OIbu_f#/registration
If financial abundance is scarce to you – no need for a love donation of $97 energy exchange – because it is optional if you are low income. I can also help attendees with scarcity or poverty consciousness to come to a Self-Caand self-love over consciousness for Financial Abundance- during our MAY 2024 HAPPENING- Learn more at www.sitwellness.com/retreats
Remember that EVERY CHALLENGE IS A GIFT TO GROW AND EVOLVE. If you do not need support over the holidays – I am grateful for that. If you know anyone who needs support, everyone is welcome – no one will be turned away for lack of funds.
Happy Regular Days!