Crying in the Checkout Aisle - Emotional Holidays

Let me tell you about my morning on this day before Thanksgiving. I'm home from the grocery store, face still tear-stained from crying in the checkout line. Yes, this is your life coach reporting back on her tearful trip through checkout.

Let me explain: "After Eight Mints". Every year, I make a special trip to the only store that carries them—a relic of the seventies, something my mom always bought at the holidays. And because, like so many of us, I'm susceptible to that special kind of holiday melancholy, those After Eight Mints pierce my heart like an arrow. They conjure a moment in time: a snapshot with a grainy, golden glow and the feeling of my mother's presence. Thirty years after her death, older now than she ever got to be, I'm tearful for my mother in the checkout aisle.

There's a certain messiness to our emotions around the holidays—a melancholy, a wistfulness, a heartache. The imagery is fraught with meaning and memories. Meanwhile, we're being told at every turn: Have a Wonderful Holiday! But I know nothing has gone wrong here. I've learned to allow the tears in these moments: smile through them at the checkout clerk, get in my car, play the song that will really get the tears going, and let them flow. I want to feel this. This is grief, and grief is love. Love doesn't end or fade, even thirty years later.

I've written a blog post—Three Tools for Holiday Peace—and I hope that in a quiet moment, with a cup of something warm, you'll take a look and find something helpful there.

Read the Blog Post Here

In the meantime, hold space for whatever you're feeling this season. Most of our feelings come from fear or love. Either way, they're a signal to be gentle with ourselves.

Be gentle with yourself at this time of year -- that is my wish for you.  And if being gentle with yourself is a skill you've never learned, let's talk.

~Penni

Penelope Perri, MSW, CEAP

Life & Leadership Coach

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