Hearts and Flowers, Chaos and New Beginnings

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author/source: Dr. Amba Dryg - Tobin

Dr. Jerry Alan Johnson my Sifu (According to Urban DictionarySifu is a term used in Chinese martial arts to refer to one’s master or teacher. The word is derived from the Chinese characters “師父” or “師傅,” where “師” means “teacher” and “父” or “傅” means “father” 1It is also used to describe someone who teaches a particular skill or technique, such as martial arts or musical instruments 2) said his Sifu told him ....oh great that you went through that ego death ... Now, prepare for the next one.

They do not stop if we work with the source.

I have declared with my free will that I will only learn valuable lessons by challenging those deaths with grace and ease.  However, sometimes I am very busy helping everyone else and putting my own needs on the back burner.

Photo Courtesy of natalia-sobolivskaMy husband and I have regular communication issues. We have threatened each other with divorce in a heartbeat or in the heat of something. I have kicked him out at least four times in the past 11 years.  Now, he has a place in Wisconsin, and I still have our house in California....he is coming in February, and I am supposed to fly back with him for a speaking gig I have in Madison's Polka Dot Powerhouse Women's Chapter.  I honestly hear my guides yelling at me not to go back to Wisconsin and not to let him come here.

My grandson loves him; however, he is not biologically related. He is one of my grandsons, almost father ...as we raised my grandson together from ages 1 to 4.  That grandson is now 8. And he hasn't seen his Grandpa Todd since Christmas 2022. Mainly, he wants my husband to play video games with him.  I really do not like either of them to play mind-numbing video games.  I think video games are equivalent to drugs. They make you not think about stressful things and cope by hiding.

When I have been working with clients and all their health challenges with medical qigong therapy.  I have been hiding as well.

I can be in that sacred addictive space as a conduit, healing with free will and divine will if allowed. However, I was hiding from doing my own deep work.  It became apparent when I had a Swiss retreat in September 2024.

I used to be a full-time jazz singer for 9 years in Europe and Switzerland.  These places held some traumatic events that I had buried so far down that they did not emerge until I was standing in Zurich in a daze of out-of-body experience back to the whole story.

You see I had a boyfriend with whom I lived in Amsterdam, and he worked for the Carre Theatre when the first Drumm Jazz Festival happened. I had the chance to sing with famous old timers and met and fed Nina Simone.   Nina literally ate 10 servings of my seafood gumbo that I had brought to share with Clark Terry, Ed Thigpen, Harry Sweets Edison, and others I had met and was hanging out with. This was the same year that I met Dizzy Gillespie ....so I was high on being included in this mind-blowing experience.

Photo Courtesy of Callum SkeltonFast forward to the retreat and reunion with many old musician friends. Not seen in 30 years, made me miss my life in Europe, and the fact that my old boyfriend threatened he would kick me out if I did not get an abortion.

Benny Carter called my boyfriend a shit when I told him the story. Later that week I was set to meet Ella Fitzgerald but she had to cancel because her diabetes was so bad. That was 1990.

😭 That same month I was in Zurich and had to be rushed to the hospital because I had a painful miscarriage. (Now I actually help couples by asking their souls to go back to when they had a miscarriage.) At the time, I was not wanting to lose my child. And I lost my mind literally. The Swiss government literally flew me back to Detroit, where my father lives, and I spent two weeks in the mental health ward because all I could do was cry most of the time.  A grief I had not known until my mother died, and I had another miscarriage in the span of the same few months.

Sadness and grief for loss are associated with lungs or metal elements in Chinese medicine. The sadness or grief of the potential ending of this marriage is rearing its ugly head. I have met many women who have gone through divorce ...me, too......; however, there is this part of me that believes that there are cycles of love.

Hearts and flowers
Chaos
And New Beginnings.

Most people break up in Chaos

I have much journaling and reflection to do.

Photo Courtesy of Jeremy Vessey2024 the word I chose is reflection. The spiritual path I have been on for the past three years is mainly teaching and helping others heal.

I have hidden in this business. Busy with family; in 2020, my dad died, and I was taking care of him at my home when he was diagnosed with dementia. That is where my idea for self-care retreats started ...days before COVID sheltered us all place. April 1st, I kicked my husband out that year and begged him to return after my dad died.

These retreats are hosted worldwide. I am helping others. I hide from doing my own deep work.

Someone posted that they went to the Deerpath Inn. I thought they said, DEEP PATH INN.

Everything I see and feel is telling me to stop helping kids, clients, and other teachers, and just reflect and heal myself.  I have already paid for three retreats. I am doing little to promote them, although the other speakers promoted them, and my team did the back-end work.

But I am going at least to Loreto California for my own healing and growth play. Not work.

However, this is time-consuming. My mantra is “I HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.”

I love traveling with women and holding sacred containers. As many of my older clients are unable to travel for assorted reasons, I have made them hybrid.

I am you and you are me. We are them and they are us. If one of us succeeds, we all do so.

World peace through inner peace is possible. However, it is vital to honor our uncomfortable emotions and ask God,  Divine, Source ...what am I supposed to be learning from this PLEASE HURRY UP AND Teach ME.

MY TRADEMARK IS EVERY CHALLENGE IS A GIFT TO GROW AND EVOLVE.  How uncomfortable I feel is honored and transmuted into recharging my virtues when I remember doing the medical qigong therapy tools.

Photo Courtesy of Volkan OlmezI can declare I only learn valuable lessons with grace and ease. Sometimes, it is slightly more challenging to do so.  However, I love the affirmation that Louise Hay taught me: “ONLY GOOD LIES BEFORE ME” and  I Added ALWAYS to the end of this phrase. It is true that everything is always for our highest good, or that it would not present itself. 

Another time I  had opposing views around “Only Good Lies Before Me Always.”

With my husband and I, there is no discussion on what I do or my or his spiritual path. It is his and mine, and they are fused, but his are unconscious, and mine are awake and aware. My four foundations are intentional, with attention, imagination, and sensations in all practices.

Why do I consider staying with him when we are so different?  We fight quite a bit, we care about different things and disagree about so much. Because he loves me, he is faithful, and when he holds me, I feel a lifetime ago home feeling I have never felt ...no matter if he plays video games or makes his dark comic book art.

In Chinese medicine, the gall bladder is an organ paired with the liver. The liver-acquired emotions are anger, frustration, and impatience. Gall bladder is about decisiveness or being on the fence and not being able to make a decision

Finally, surrender and trust are where we all do our best. I am playing with that now.

Bio:

Dr. Amba Dryg is fortunate to have graduated in the last Doctoral class under the guidance of Abbot Sifu Professor Dr. Jerry Alan Johnson the founder of the International Institute of Medical QiGong and Senior Abbot at Tian Yun Gong (Temple of the Celestial Cloud) Daoist Monastery, in Monterey, California.

are-you-the-fence-about-decisionShe also studied child development, psychology, medical sciences, and holistic health at several colleges and universities including San Francisco State University. As well as Chinese medical theory, and acupuncture from the American College of Traditional Chinese Medicine in San Francisco and the Academy of Chinese Culture and Health Sciences in Oakland, California

She also is a 400-hour plus- Certified Yoga Teacher from Green Path Yoga and The Bhramanada Ashram also known as the Yoga Society of San Francisco, where she studied the Sanskrit language and Vedic and Yoga philosophy with Dr. Ram Karan Sharma and the teachings of Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati Udasina (Ramamurti S. Mishra, MD). And has a second yoga certification from Integral Awakening Yoga
Dr. Amba Dryg is also a Level 3 Qigong Instructor and Workshop Facilitator of Sacred Geometry and Food Based Healing with the Supreme Science Qigong Foundation based in Florida. Within the Foundation is where she also studied with Wim Hof in Tummo Meditation, which later he renamed it "the Wim Hoff Method"

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